Shivasubramoniam
Age : 76
I could't believe my eyes when I saw Iyer uncle. He gave me a blank look when his son introduced me. We in the club call him Palghat uncle and he used to play tennis in the morning and cards in the evening. He never misses his cards session in the evenings and used to stay back till the last bell. Son Jaidev works as the director of an International School and daughter in law Gayathri is a home maker. They live in defence colony, Indiranagar, the most coveted area of Bangalore. Off late, 78 year old Iyer was diagnosed with dementia and he was difficult to manage due to aggression and incontinence. This is when Jaidev and Gayathri decided to have a full time help.
When they came first for counseling at our office we from our experience advised for institutionalisation in a facility which has 24 hour care. Also we suggested to have a look at our assisted living facility. Even though they were not ready for institutionalisation they took a tour of our facility and decided not to admit instead they wanted to keep him at home. We knew it was only a matter of time that they will change their opinion. Within a month they shifted Iyer uncle to an assisted living home which is worse than pigsty.
Reasons given by the daughter in law for not admitting her into a good place like ours was beyond our comprehension. “We liked your assisted living facility but we feel your charges are a bit high”. Gayathri who wields authority decides. Where is the pension? We feel sad about Iyer uncle who had a king size life with all the pomp and show ended up in a pigsty. This is a typical example of son and daughter in law taking decision on behalf of the father and showing utter disregard of his position he held and basic human values. This real life story will make us ask few relevant questions. Why Iyer never anticipated such a situation? Why Iyer delegated his old age care to his daughter in law who is not a well wisher?
Takeaway
Excessive control of daughter in law, Financial dominance by son and daughter-in-law. Selected a care facility of inferior quality.
